Dear Mr. President - real talk.
You don’t want to be president during this #coronavirus mess. Heck, you hardly wanted to be president before this. But now things are gonna be bad. You’re gonna be attacked, pilloried and vilified. Everyone’ll be hounding you for action, for answers, for help. And, as your supporters get sick, even they are going to start turning on you.
You want to golf. I want you to golf.
You want to watch TV. I want you to watch TV.
You want to Tweet. I’d prefer you didn’t, but seriously, if you gotta, go ahead.
You can have all the things you want, Mr. President. Every single thing.
Tell us you’ve caught the virus — we’d believe it, you’ve certainly been exposed often enough, and let’s face it, you haven’t been too honest about your health up to now.
Thing is, you gotta take Pence with you. Rough, I know, but you can convince him. Because then it’d be President Nancy Pelosi, and, hoo-boy, you’d have everything you really want.
You could attack Pelosi for how she handles the crisis. You could attack Biden, and Hillary, and Obama, and everyone. You could go on TV and shout about what morons they are.
Just imagine — all the fun, none of the responsibility. Wasn’t it great back when you could attack Obama without concern? Wasn’t it a joy to tweet out digs at idiots in government who were too stupid to see the simple answers?
Trouble is, right now, that’s you.
So get out of it. Leave it to someone else. Want to sow some havoc? Endorse Bernie on the way out. That’d be fun. Drive the Democrats crazy.
The answer, Mr. President, is within your reach. All you need to do is sign your name. You love doing that.
And you’d be a martyr. You’ll have stepped aside to save your country, and your supporters will call you a hero, a misunderstood genius, a real leader.
Stepping aside would solve all your problems. It would make you happy again.
We want you to be happy, Mr. President. We really do.
So wash your hands of us, Mr. President. We don’t deserve you. We never did.