The Only Parenting Advice We Give

Humblebrag warning. Sorry about that. Unavoidable.

Just now we were doing parent/teacher conferences for our high school-aged son. All the teachers talked about what a calming presence he is in the room. One even said, “Seriously, Dash is so cool, if I ever have kids, I’m giving them to you to raise.”

We laughed at that. It was a comment that reminded me of a teacher’s note we got when both kids were in middle school:

I apologize that I have not sent this sooner as I have intended to, but your children are amazing. They are both so respectful, thoughtful, and truly upstanders (which is a VERY challenging thing to do gracefully in middle school). I recognize and admire what your role as their parents have been in instilling those values and the confidence to rise above. So I just want to say thank you for all that you do and give them; it is apparent.

Naturally, we felt pretty good about that. It’s the kind of letter a parent wants to read. And whenever our kids are complimented, my wife and I make it a habit to say, “We just got lucky. That’s just who they are.” (Though my wife now says she’s giving up on that, and moving forward she’s taking all the credit herself. Fair.)

Still, as much as we want to take pride in our exceptional parenting, this kind of praise has always puzzled me. Because, honestly, I didn’t see how we were any different from other parents. What we say is true: we’re seriously lucky in our kids.